I was in London for nearly eight months before taking my first big trip back to the US of A. I left Friday before last for ten days to spend the Thanksgiving week with my friends and family. While I was initially sad to be leaving my life in London, even for ten days, it was so good to be home. With that said, being home was a bit surreal and strange. It genuinely felt like I had never left. My friends and I picked up just where we left off, my sisters and I argued about the same things we always do (love you guys <3), Target is still an amazing store, and Mi Ranchito is as tasty as it ever. Throughout my time there, I would think about my life across the pond, and it didn't seem real. I'm feeling a little like i am living a double life. Needless to say, my days in London look a lot different than those did in Kansas City. I had (and like to think I continue to have) a whole network of people that I love and that love me. In London, I've met some amazing people as well. It's a strange strange feeling that my different lives don't really cross.
When I left for the US, friends in London asked if I thought I was going to have a difficult time coming back after spending time at home. I never dreamed that it would be so difficult, and that my sister would once again have to leave me in tears waiting in line at KCI Security. Now I know that I wasn't being very realistic about how things would be. Over the last couple of months, I have been having so much fun living an exciting life abroad, I think I lost some perspective about all that I left behind at home. The perspective came crashing down around me over the last 36 hours and it manifested itself in a whole lot of tears.
Two weeks ago if I would have been asked how long I planned to stay in England, I might have told you that I loved everything about being here and could see myself staying long term. Today, that thought really overwhelms me and gives me a serious knot in my stomach...and if I'm being honest, a couple of tears to fall. My contract with my employer is for two years, my visa is good for three. I want to start being thankful for the time I'm here, and stop trying to look so far ahead. My new goal while in the UK is to take things one day at a time.
Anyway, sorry that my first post in three months was a bit depressing. I'm hoping it makes me feel better! :)
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Just remember to take it one day at a time. It is such a great thing that you can come back home and pick up right where you left.....that means you are not missing much (and you have amazing friends and family). Just keep reminding yourself that the holidays (when everybody is gathered together) is not what everyday life looks lilke here either. We will see you in a few weeks in Cologne. So excited!
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